What if?

   I thought my parents were going to call me on Jan 1st.  We ususally call one another and wish one another a happy New Year, even if as the years have gone by, the phone calls have proved difficult.  At least on my part.  But I'm sure on their part as well.  It is because I can't tell them when I'll come and see them again.  But the phone calls still need to be made, because however hard it is, one must gird one's heart and get on with it.

   So I got on with it and called them on Christmas Day with a card I bought the day before, but by New Year's day, I had used up all the credits.  Lots of phone calls to be made.  So until I'm able to get another card, I'm waiting for their call.

   The funny thing with this is that although it is difficult to speak to them, I want to.  Lately, I have been wondering if I'll get a phone call one of these days to inform me that one of them has died.  I have lost two grandparents this year (last year rather) and I wasn't able to say goodbye.  So when their number flashes on my phone, my heart almost stops until I pick up the phone and talk to them for a minute before my heart goes back to normal.

   Sometimes, I think that perhaps I should go back.  But now, I have the Husband........